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∇Carpe-diem∇
325110 Reblog

1 day ago

agentcarolinainthemorning:

waluigiology:

i just figured out the perfect murder

kill someone and bury them in their own garden

that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide

#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them

(via glarekhale)

272458 Reblog

1 day ago

sextradite:

ridge:

IM REALLY TIRED OF PARENTS THINKING THAT EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS A PREDATOR 

ikr wanna meet up and talk about it so where do you live?

(via toouniquee)

77168 Reblog

1 day ago

maratini:

ineptshieldmaid:

notcuddles:

valkyrien:

aflyingmotorbike:

synekdokee:

anglepoiselamp:

Is that the weather report?

*sighs*
Everyone knows we get lesbians every goddamn year, and yet every time they arrive people act all shocked. “I’m not ready for lesbians yet! I haven’t put lesbian tyres on my car!” Lady, it happens every year. You were warned beforehand. It’s your own damn fault if you end up in an accident because you weren’t prepared for lesbians.

seriously. so tired of being late for school just because the subway can’t handle lesbians. it’s norway! what do they expect

On the bright side, learning institutions will close in their droves as nations shut down due to the overwhelming presence of lesbians.

:sigh: But you have to make up lesbian days at the end of the school year…

I’ve been waiting for lesbians ever since the weather turned cold. I was promised 5cm of lesbians and DID I GET ANY? NO I DID NOT. Oh sure, there are lesbians up on the hills, but where’s my gorgeous carpet of lesbians, huh?

#how am I supposed to feel like it’s christmas time when there aren’t any lesbians outside at all
732179 Reblog

1 day ago

iamthemeep:

sodamnrelatable:

trying to talk to someone you really admire

image

I DONT KNOW HOW THIS IS ACCURATE BU SOMEHOW IT IS

(Source: wweesnaww, via encourage)

645003 Reblog

1 day ago

elimin8theimpossible:

cricsyxo:

divinedorothy:

egotastical:

divinedorothy:

bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart

how the fuck do you cheat at jenga

ask a lesbian

image

this is never not funny

(via useless-url-43ir4jnvng3vt3v)

7211 Reblog

6 days ago

152023 Reblog

6 days ago

yxxz:

i’ve never seen police throw tear gas or shoot rubber bullets at Westboro Baptist protestors. 

(via glarekhale)

105745 Reblog

6 days ago

  • social anxiety: you want to skype someone? hahaha yeah right
  • social anxiety: you need to make a phone call? nah.
  • social anxiety: you want to go out with friends? lol nope.
  • social anxiety: need to ask a stranger something? hahah no.
  • social anxiety: trying to buy something by yourself? I don't think so.
  • social anxiety: surrounded by strangers? good luck breathing.
  • social anxiety: in a group? aww let me make you feel unwanted and sad.
534 Reblog

6 days ago

339134 Reblog

6 days ago

mstoph:

my milkshakes bring all the boys are the yard and they’re like “your friend is hot”

(via internally-modern)

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